Three Rivers

By Ed Handkins

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.  Genesis 2:24

A woman sat in my office.  Tears came to her eyes as she told about her marriage.  Her husband was very demanding.  He was in charge and everything had to be done his way.  What was worse – he believed this was his God-given role.  He thought he was doing right.

What is the God-given role or relationship within marriage?  I came to understand what the husband-wife relationship ought to be by watching the rivers.

A few years ago I was pastor of a church in Cairo, Illinois.  FortDefiant is at the confluence of the Ohio and MississippiRivers.  As you stand on the point where the two rivers merge you can see the line that marks the meeting of the waters.  The waters are different in color.

A little way down the river, the waters are mixed.  The Ohio River is absorbed by the mighty Mississippi River.  That is a picture of what was happening in the relationship of this woman and her husband.

In Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, I stood on Mt.Washington.  The lights of the city made a beautiful sight.  It was at the point of the “three rivers.”  At that point the Allegheny River and the Monongahela River merge.  One is not absorbed by the other.  Instead they come together to form the Ohio River – they come together to form something new.

When a husband and wife come together they each bring their own identity but they are to merge in order to begin something new.  The husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church.  Christ does not lead with a heavy, angry hand.  He leads with love and compassion.  One is not absorbed by the other.  Instead they begin something new. The wife is honor her husband.

A willingness to walk together is not something that can be demanded.  It can only be given.  A marriage relationship is not a fifty-fifty relationship.  Instead, like the rivers in Pittsburgh, each one must give 100 percent of themselves in order to start something new.

Prayer: Ask God to help you see your mate as a gift from God – one that you seek to love and honor.  Ask Him to show you what you can do to help your mate as you walk together.